“Once I Thought I Lost My Way” by Renee Bedard

July 6, 2015

Once I thought I lost my way.
Fear drove the desire to go back home.
Drifting through the memories, I realized I never was home.
Now I need to see.
Now I need to feel.
Now I need to be me.
What does that mean?
What do I know?
I do know that it is time for illusion to let go.
Shaking nerves and shallow breath –
There must be more to life than fear.
Standing out, all alone,
I feel someone else here.

Who are you?
Who am I?
Can you show me the way?
A whisper of “Yes.”
Quiet comfort, a caress,
The familiar whispers…
“You were never alone. I am here to guide you.
I am here to show you the way.
I am love. I am light. I am good. There is no need to fight.
Trust me now. Take my hand. Let go of all that fear demands.
I have you. Can’t you see that you are safe with me?”
I whisper, “Yes,” to the safe caress and smile deep inside,
“But who are you? How do I know that it is safe to let go?”
The whisper soothes, “I am you. You are me. I am safe. I am peace.
I’ve been with you from the start. I am soul. I am heart.
I am you. You are me.
Now it is time for you to truly see all that is and all that will be.”
Once I thought I lost my way.
It’s funny how fear can trick you that way.


In our quiet darkness, what we sometimes call our shadow self, our thoughts can wander. We drift away from a passing thought to a fading memory like a movie that plays in our mind. Sometimes we go along for the ride, looking to see what may happen next. Other times we get caught up in the chaos of the day or fall into what we think others think of us. When that happens, our anxiety takes over and suddenly the recap of our daily events can turn our peaceful and quiet mind upside down. It’s a place where we are locked in fear. It is where we harshly judge ourselves. Our emotions bubble up, giving us overwhelming feelings of sadness, anger, or regret. It is times like these where we can feel like a tiny boat on a raging sea. We are tossed in the peaks and valleys of the monstrous waves and hold our breath for help to arrive to save us or for the storm to pass. Funny how we sometimes choose not to rely on ourselves to navigate our way through the storm. Why is that?
It is so easy to be swept up in the little storms that rage through our lives each day. We try to be everything that others expect us to be. We drift away from our inner voice that keeps us going from day to day. If we keep on that path, we lose sight of who we are. As a result, we will drift away out to sea, numb to our truth that anchors us within our hearts. When that happens, we may not even recognize or know when our conscience, our soul is whispering to us.
In the poem, there is a whisper. It is a gentle and soothing whisper that can delicately weave through the darkness that can envelop us. That darkness is fear. Fear creates the illusion of no light, no hope, no escape, and no true happiness. It breeds a chain reaction that claims that we cannot change things and that we are alone in our darkness. Fear is illusion and illusion is something that is not real.
Truth is we are never alone. We are one with the Divine. The goddess. The god. We are all divinely linked to one another. We all feel. We all love. We all long to have that sacred connection to be part of the whole. Working with Brigid, I have come to know that truth. Yes, we all have darkness from time to time and we all feel pain as well. The difference is that we can take solace in knowing that the safe and loving whisper is within us always.
Brigid burns a sacred fire that is used within her forge. As a goddess of forge and flame, Brigid freely offers these gifts to us. She wants us to strengthen who we are. She wants us to know our truth. She ignites our passions so we may illuminate our shadows and not have to hide our hearts from fear. With her forge, we can build the strength we need to hold our head high and face our fears with dignity and courage. This will allow ourselves the chance to discover our truth. To begin our journey to understand who we are, is the first step to take control of our lives.
“I am here to show you the way. I am love. I am light. I am good. There is no need to fight.” These beautiful words are from the goddess. They are also words spoken by your soul. We all have people in our lives that think they know what is best for us. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes we need to listen to what our voice has to say, no matter how soft the whisper or how scary it may be. We must ultimately be the navigator on this journey we call life. We owe it to ourselves to know who we are. We must take the chance to live our lives to the best we can. We may stumble and fall. That is destined to be. We are here for a great and divine purpose. We must experience all that is around us to find what that purpose is. Now we know that we are not alone. Brigid is one of many who walk with us to help us along the way. We only need to choose to listen to what she and our souls have to say.

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