Slowly. Easily. Gently. I Breathe Deep and Begin To Allow…
Sitting in a room with candles, it feels so strange to have the windows open on a February night. There is a wind that blows, bringing life to the wind chimes not too far from my window. The song gently eases my heart that has been tugged upon as I am going through the spiritual work that comes with this path. There is an energy that flows tonight. Something that may be familiar, or maybe not. Something that feels ancient, but maybe it was just forgotten in this lifetime. But there is something there and I can feel it calling.
Taking a breath, I try to feel just what is beyond me. The mysteriously warm evening. The smell of a storm that is on its way. The sound of the wind through the naked trees and the bunnies racing through the fallen leaves underneath the forsythia bushes. There is a stillness that sits in the darkened night. Connected. I am connected to all that is around me. I am here, in the present moment, opening up without judgement or expectation. I am a daughter of the Earth, yet feel lost within its expansion…
Taking a breath, I remind myself to bring the awareness to my physical body. I realize that my breath is a bit shallow. I gently remind myself to breathe deep. Slowly, I turn my attention to my heartbeat. That too, feels off. Slowly. Gently. Easily. Breathe deep… Better. I slowly turn my attention to my mind. Oh, how it races. The day, people, society, work, traffic, family, friends – it all catches up and can consume us so easily. I realize that I have been swept up in it. Way too busy with not a lot of restful sleep is a recipe for trouble. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Like leaves that fall, I too must allow the shedding. But oh, it can be so hard at times. Slowly. Easily. Gently. I breathe deep and begin to allow…Tears begin to fall. One after another they drop. Each tear a fragment. Some have names. Some have memories. Others are simply carried away on the wind, unknown to me. Slowly. Easily. Gently. I breathe deep and begin to allow…
Tonight I was reminded of a simple truth: the struggle persists when we cling so tightly to what we think we should be, what others think we should be, and as a result, we close ourselves off the beauty, silence, love, and wisdom that calls to us from the inside. I began tonight, looking outward to the night sounds and the playfulness of the backyard animals. Tonight is beautiful, so my experience was beautiful. What happens when it is dark and cold, with shadows that lurk and stalk us as prey? The experience wouldn’t be so soothing or healing if we are consumed by outside fear. So why do we as humans insist on defining who we are by what externally surrounds us? For that question, I have no answer. I simply have observations…
Breathe. Allow. Come back to center. Find the beauty in your silence. You are not your car, status, or bank account. You are love and you are wise. You are spirit and you are infinite. You are breath and you are bone. You are flesh and you are blood. You are strong and you are gentle. You will fall, yet you will rise. And please, remember that you too, must rest. If we don’t, we become sick and consumed with our anxieties. That is not who we are. It is not what we are meant to be. So, remember: Slowly. Easily. Gently. Breathe deep and begin to allow… We are connected to the beauty and grace and life that surrounds us. The way to connect with what surrounds us, is to connect within ourselves.
