Several weeks ago I overheard a customer conversation about being in a situation this holiday season where they would have to be around certain relatives or friends who tend to focus on negativity, and what suggestions did we have on how could they shield themselves energetically. I felt the urge to add my opinion, so I did, with some advice that I had experienced repeatedly in recent meditations. It was that time for shielding from one another has passed, and this new era upon us was all about realizing that we are all connected, and being connected, are all affected by one another. With that in mind, we need to not “put the shields up” or avoid these people, but to open our hearts and focus on the vibration of LOVE, allowing that to flood the situation, or any situation we find ourselves in for that matter. It is not time to turn away from one another, but to turn to one another with compassion. By focusing our vibration on LOVE and turning up our own personal “light”, we give everyone we come in contact with the opportunity to be reminded of their own light, and that by focusing their intentions upon that light, they have the power to shift their own world as well.
Remember that it is not our responsibility (or even an option) for us to attempt to heal every person we come in contact with. Ultimately we can offer an open heart, a compassionate ear, provide sacred space and the opportunity to heal, but it is up to each individual to make the decision or effort to release their own blocks or wounds and allow for their own personal healing to take place. Extending the helping hand, or accepting it, is key. Just as with any task, together we make the load lighter, the hurt less and the journey more enjoyable.
Our good friend Trish Whynot stopped into ZuZu’s that same day, and we had a deeper discussion about this idea, which she shared in her recent blog. I love how Trish explained her view of it, so here’s her take on our discussion as well:
“I was talking with my friend, Sue, from ZuZu’s yesterday. Sue and I got onto the topic of shielding and both emphatically agreed that opening our hearts is the way to go. Not shielding.
Open your heart when you detect negativity you might be questioning? Why? How?
Shielding is a form of protection. It promotes separation. Let me give you a couple examples of the difference between protecting and opening our hearts.
1.Alice was irritated because her friend Jan never calls her back when she says she will. Initially Alice saw Jan as separate. She took her friend’s behavior personally and saw her as flawed and needing to change. When she sought oneness she opened her heart to the question, “Why am I taking Jan’s behavior so personally?” and received the answer as a healing opportunity.
By opening her heart in this way Alice realized that she has her own way of lacking in follow through. Being on the receiving end helped her to heal and correct it. Alice went from being irritated to grateful for what she had learned about herself.
If Alice had shielded herself, separated herself, protected/defended herself in some way from Jan she would have missed out on this healing opportunity. Now if Jan doesn’t get back to her when she says she will a warm feeling comes over Alice. She chuckles and thinks to herself, “that’s just Jan.” Alice no longer even thinks to take it personally. That’s liberating.
2.The second story that shielding reminded me of was when one of my children was in Children’s Hospital for a week. We were in a room with 6 beds. Most kids were in and out in a few days. But there was this one toddler, a little girl about the same age as my daughter who appeared to have been there with something more serious and the mom was pretty abrasive. Some of the other parents would complain about her attitude either when she wasn’t there or when they were out in the hall. The nicest thing anyone said was, “She doesn’t belong here. She should be on another floor.”
But I saw a different person. I saw a struggling mother. A mother who feared for her child. Yes, she was abrasive, isolating herself even, but I felt for the person underneath the behavior. Every parent in that room was on edge to some degree. After all we were in Children’s Hospital, not at Six Flags.
At one point the ‘abrasive’ mom and I were in the hall together. I don’t recall what I said to her but this exchange is imbedded in my heart. “Why are you so nice to me? Everyone here hates me.” I acknowledged, “If I were you, I’d be cranky too.” She opened up to share that her baby had a curable form of leukemia but wasn’t responding to the treatment. She shared some other personal information that was adding to her stress as well. In hindsight I can see how my open heart had invited hers to share.
By the time my daughter was discharged this woman and I had become friends. I called periodically to see how her daughter was doing. They did get moved to another floor where she could get the care she needed but unfortunately her health continued to deteriorate and within a few weeks she passed. After that it was too painful for the mom to keep in touch and I completely understood.
· What good could shielding have provided in either of these cases?
· In hindsight who were the negative ones?
· What are you expecting when you shield?
· What are you expecting when you open your heart to receive?
What you expect is what you get. I can’t possibly go through every scenario under the sun but I think you are beginning to catch my drift.
What the world needs more of is love, not shielding.
Do you have a story? Can you relate? Are you open to the possibility?
~ “Dr. Trish Whynot” (www.trishwhynot.com)
In light of the recent tragedy in CT, it was beautiful to hear of so many people doing “20 acts of kindness” to random strangers, in memory of the 20 children who died that day. While we cannot bring the kids or teachers back, I can’t think of a better way to carry on the memory of someone than to consciously spread LOVE. We each are bombarded with opportunities to spread LOVE, kindness, joy, and compassion throughout every day. It’s okay if you miss one, another is already on it’s way. Just think how we could affect the mass consciousness if we all did even 1 random act of kindness a day, from letting someone go in traffic, to buying someone’s coffee, it doesn’t have to be about money, it can just be a smile.
Each of us can make a ripple that can continue to affect people everywhere…what will you choose to do?
